i don't like it when i am in this mood. it gets me thinking about what is the point in it all. humans survive, but when it boils down to a reason for anything being here, the answer is always chance.
we as a race try to create reason, we made jobs, schools, medicine, goals, complicated relationships, affairs, choice, shops, travel, everything.
all of it is there for us to give ourselves meaning, but the the irony is that none of it HAS meaning. to survive, we don't need it.
but then, i suppose there is a vast difference between SURVIVING and actually LIVING.
surviving is sustaining, the ability to breathe, move, recreate.. and we have created this materialistic monster called 'living.' i am part of it, but i can't help thinking i wish i wasn't.
when i put everything into perspective, i wish to leave society and live on an island.. not alone but alone enough. some desolate place where money, judgement, bitching, materialism, illness and all of human's complications just DON'T EXIST. i wouldn't miss it, because i wouldn't know it. i'd live. sustain myself. see the true beauty of everything that is supposed to be admired. not buildings, t.v. screens, movies. nature.
i'm not suicidal, i'm happy, i love my life, it has complications, but who's doesn't? i am just as bad as everyone else.. i just guess everyone wants to escape sometimes.
i just wish WE hadn't made everything so complicated for ourselves.
it can't be undone.
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